1. "Join our fast-paced company" - We have no time to train you.
2. "Must be deadline oriented" - You'll be 6 months behind schedule on your first day.
3. "No phone calls please" - We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.
4. "Seeking candidates with a wide variety of experience" - You'll need it to replace the three people who just left.
5. "Requires team leadership skills" - You have the responsibilities of a manager without the pay and respect.
courtesy of jokediary.com; photo credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/cogdog/ / CC BY 2.0
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